nothing fits

luckily this doesn't have to do with clothes or bras which I went shopping for, although bras tend to not fit me correctly, but I did good and got measured and took my time. It was exhausting!

But like I said this post really has nothing to do with clothes and bras.

What it does have to do with is what I was thinking about this afternoon after my shopping trip. I began to realize that I really wasn't part of any 'group'. I don't fit into any real category. not that this is a bad thing, but it's a little uplifting and yet also a little depressing. I've done lots of things. Played sports, played in band, worked with plays and did community service stuff. But honestly I never was really any of what comes with those. I'm no athlete. I'm not very musical: singing or playing an instrument, although I do love music. I'm not an actor. i'm actually quite terrible at it probably because I'm quite shy sometimes. But then again i wasn't so shy that I was a loner. I have some very outgoing friends. I'm not very artsy, although I love art and took classes in high school which I miss. Sometimes I wish I could fit in there. I love that my sister did photography in college. And I like to think I'm artsy when I watch films and visit the art museum, but I don't really fit that crowd either. I liked the punk thing in high school but I never got serious about it. I didn't have or care to spend the money on studded belts, piercings, and tattoos. I guess I had the church back in high school, but I wasn't overly into that either. I loved it, but I definitely will probably never devote my whole life to the church. Oh and I wasn't one of those smart kids either. I didn't have academics helping me out.

I guess I've always wondered why I didn't have a specific group or following to follow. But then again when I think about it now i shouldn't really worry too much. I quite like the way I turned out and that I like many things although it's a little depressing that I'm not much good at most things I do. I'm quite 'average' I suppose. But then again..what does 'average' mean? I guess I have come to the conclusion that being labeled as a certain person or as part of a certain group is quite a good thing. But I feel as though when I try to participate in the many different things that I'm not much good at that I will be rejected because i am not overly artsy, athletic, punk, preppy, popular, etc., etc.... And THAT I can't stand. I should be allowed to do and like a large variety of activities and lifestyles and not have to feel as though I am being judged. I guess I never felt judged at college really. i joined ultimate and people there just really don't seem to care. And although I love ultimate and played a lot, I'm not the best at it. But i do like to think it's one of the things I might actually be 'good' at. I hope that I'm good at doing my job too!

Maybe I'm over thinking this, but it just popped into my head today. And I must say that I actually feel quite comfortable with not being part of just one group. Or at least being labeled as one certain thing. Although I'm getting labeled more and more as being a psych geek it seems. People do like to ask if I'm analyzing them...

I don't know if I'll every really know who I am. I'm sure I will still catch myself in the mirror, stare at my face and wonder who the heck I am and how I got here.

what? i still have a blog?

so i think blogger just made me update my blog. I don' t know. I'm changing the template anyway. We'll see what happens.
I just briefly looked at my old blogs. As much as I thought I was going to be acting more responsible... i reallyhaven't. Sure I work now...all the time, but I still haven't become serious about saving. I have started to look for an apartment but have no credit history. Which means I should build some. I've been kind of lazy to do anything though... ALL DAMN WEEK! And well blogging never gets done either.

I still believe that people should not be allowed to buy cheese that is fat free, low fat, reduced fat, or 'lite'. First it tastes nasty, second it can be a pain for us deli workers to slice ( i did the other day, and the shit got ALL over the slicer!), and it's just gross! bleh! Eat real cheese people!

what else? oh yeah... no one checks this so this update may not matter, but... life is good. Working is hard. It really is. It's also kind of a surreal feeling knowing that I am somewhat of a grown-up now going to work everyday. :-) That's also kind of hard to deal with. My job isn't really hard but it can get to me. It's hard to find the time to get all of my paperwork done while doing desk duties, getting things for residents and so on... plus I can't really leave the desk if the other mental health worker is away and no one else is around. Oh and I can't bring paperwork home which sucks because I'd get a lot more done at home than I would at work. Home is a lot quieter at night. NO one is up and asking me to get them things. At work I am almost always constantly busy doing something and when I'm not, I tend to take the time to breathe! The job is good but I feel bad because my paperwork has been late, and my meetings with those on my caseload have been fewer than should be! eeek! it's scary. At least my supervisor is super nice about everything and I think most people understand.

you know I usually think of something good and witty to write in here when I'm not near a computer...same goes for when I think about writing in my journal...what a cruel fucking world it is ;-)
that's about all I've got on my mind besides the usual. Oh and the fact that calling cards are a total ripoff. Damn AT&T bastards. I'm hoping that more of you Aussies (ahem MEL) will get skype so I can call more often :-)
i should be in bed.
much love to all.
-em

i'm determined to start acting at least a little bit more grown up.
I'm starting to bring in the money, with three jobs and all and am beginning to realize that I should start saving! I have a great desire to make it back to Australia as soon as I can. But if that doesn't pan out I want to hop over to NY for a bit since I've never been and since LJ has asked when I'll visit her. Also I have the great desire to jump over to Oregon again. I miss it. I miss Krista too. I loved visiting her home...it was so beautiful. I want to be back in the mountains and feel like Jack Kerouac a la Dharma Bums. So I'm quite determined now. I have some traveling goals that NEED to be fulfilled. I'm gathering that once spring comes around I can probably do it. I'll have racked up some days off with the new job and will also have made some money, and although I will still have bills to pay... I can't imagine that they will hurt me too much. I just keep paying the least amount possible. So to do all of this I'm going to start managing my money. I'm going to cut up all my old receipts and from here on out I'm going to actually use my check book again to keep track of money. And... a savings account?! YES! I need it. I have $500 stashed away in my parents' account right now which is a start and I have three pay checks to put in the bank. I think I'll be doing well soon enough. Maybe...just maybe I'll have enough to travel AND move out AND pay bills... of course. The moving out thing will definitely wait until spring when Leah gets back and we chat more about possibly getting a place together. There are new apartments opening up by where I work and although it's not the best neighborhood (what neighborhood really is in MPLS?) I kind of like the location. It's across the street from work, they're new, they're blocks from the Metrodome (HELLO LOTS of Twins games!) and it's near the city :-) If that fails I'm really keen on moving out to any place that's NOT a suburb or on the west side of the city...that's just too far from work. I'm getting ahead of myself really, but I love the fact taht I can start thinking about these things and planning them....:-)

And... although i've been working all the time I am quite happy with life. With the money I'm making and with my social life. Although i don't get out much I"m not complaining. I see those poeple who matter most to me often enough and though it's not ALL going the way I'd like it to I'm hapy to have my feet firmly planted in a job and am feeling stable.

on another note. I really want another tattoo and since I feel like I'm making a good chunk of money... I should just do it. Nat just got one and the lady who did it was super awesome. I might visit her. Or I'm looking for input on drawings of a black swan... so do send them my way if you'd like ;-)

Just Say NO to Fat Free Cheese!

so i don't write here anymore really...well not since december and I'm getting told I should. But I don't reckon many people read this anymore. OH well. Today I had an idea for a post though and I remembered it so here it goes.

**** People should NOT be allowed to buy fat free cheese!******
so yeah, i work at a deli which all of you who read this know. This morning at work, one of my very first customers (actually may have been my first...it was a slow morning) Asks me to slice her a half a pound of the fat free jalepeno jack cheese. YUCK! This shit is just nasty. First of all it's kind of rubbery. It was a REALLY weird texture when it slices. It just doesn't slice well any way, it sticks to our slicers and gets kind of clumpy andwell the shit is just nasty.

I'm sorry but who really thought of Fat Free cheese?! It should be against the law or should be a sin or something! How does someone even get pleasure out of eating that shit. I can't say that I've actually tried that particular cheese that I sliced today but I have had a taste of the Fat Free cheddar we have and it's gross. I also stole some cheese from a housemate once last year to use for chips and cheese and didn't realize that she had bought the fat free shredded cheddar until I tried melting it and it just turned all weird! bleh! I really don't see the goodness that comes from buying this shit! If you're going to eat cheese just eat the real stuff! it's so much better. Maybe buy the low sodium (which is also nasty, but a little better), but for heaven's sake! how the hell can you eat fat free cheese?! I really hope I never slice that stuff again.

so that's my rant on cheese. Just eat the real stuff people. it's SO much better.

besides my disgust for people who eat the fat free cheese... life is good. new job. yay! and that's about it.

life is pretty good.

I now have three comforts of Australia right here in MN. Not only can I buy Cooper's and Tim Tams for a decent price (finds from this summer) but I recently heard The Cat Empire on my favorite radio station! How exciting. Not that I think Cat Empire is the epitomy of Aussie music (I'd probably freak out and drop dead if I heard the Holy Grail on the radio!)--but it's another comfort. I got so excited that I rang Will up and gushed about Australia and Adelaide with him for awhile. It's always nice to bring back good memories.

Something new in life, to me, is this thing most people call dating. I've probably talked about this before, but... Well I've had boyfriends in the past and relationships, but have never really done that thing that people call 'dating'. It has caught me a little off-guard beginning this summer with a friend asking me on a date, which I turned down because, well I guess I don't believe in going on dates with friends, who I believe are just friends. But that was the first time I think I had ever been seriously asked on a date! It was weird. I was also a little inibriated (spelling?) when I was asked. The second one happened early November. This was the first random one. A guy I met while down in Winona for frisbee. He seemed nice and he found me via Facebook (I guess the times are changing) so I finally gave him a call. We went out once and then I ran into him not long after at a restaurant but haven't seen him since. I haven't really felt the drive to ask him out myself. ANd although he was a nice fella and I kind of hope that the two of us get together again and at least become friends he wasn't so good with the planning part of a date. Now...the third, a co-worker asked me. Although he's got another ...um week? left of law school finals I said yes. So now I'm wondering in crazy excitement what this date will turn out to be like and if he will actually follow through. Then yesterday, and this was the weirdest, another guy from work who works in the restuarant and whom I barely ever see asked me on a date. It was really random and kind of freaked me out. I didn't make up any lies to turn him down, but it was weird trying to find a way to say no without hurting his feelings. I am so NOT experienced in this field that I can't say I really know what to do when this shit happens. So this has been the excitement in my life lately. The excitement and the weirdness. ..

As I sit in the coffee shop not far from my house I'm kind of wishing that there were more interesting people here to observe. I need a new book to read. These people are boring this afternoon. I just finished reading SHannon's post about the people in the coffee shop and the people here are not nearly as interesting. I have a list of things to do today and well I've only done about three of them done. I am still being lazy and not making a hair appointment, or getting that package sent out which has been sitting in my room for ever! I also have absolutely NO drive to go shopping for christmas gifts. I think I'll leave most of it to next week. I can't stand shopping.
my battery is getting low....

not even 20 minutes

so i'm kind of bored at work.
it's not even 7pm yet. The guys are just kind of keeping to themselves. They're never really up for much on friday nights it seems.
This day has been SO long and I'm ready for it to be over. I'm hoping that my family saved me some pizza so I have something to eat when I get home. Tator Tots just do not cut it for dinner. :-P I've been up since 6 and working since 7am. Happily the deli hours went by pretty fast. I basically got to chill with Kim most of the day. She's cool.

Well i've done my usual make dinner. Although I haven't done some of the dishes yet. And have only interacted with the tenants a little. I feel kind of like a bum when I don't do anything with the residents but I also hate to be annoying and forceful. I might just end up reading the rest of my book since the guys don't really want to do anything. Makes ya feel kind of bad though when you just sit and do nothing while you're supposed to be working...I'm still learning everything and i still get a little afraid that I might screw some things up...:-P But overall i enjoy the job.

besides that. I'm leaving for Decorah on Saturday night with Kayla, Kris and Mariss to go to the Christmas at Luther concert Sunday afternoon. I'm so excited to have some days off! YES! I actually got lucky with getting my two days i requested and then I got Tuesday off too which helps! Means I can spend time with the girls back up in the cities and hopefully get a couple interviews in!
wow...i've only passed about twenty minutes ... is it 10 yet? I'm ready to pack for tomorrow and go to bed. I've already read my email. REsponded to a few. but now i'm not really in the mood. Dinked around on facebook already. Got bored... sigh... is it 10 yet? :-) I love this job, but this day is loooooong!

mutations

sitting here with a pile of clean laundry i finally decided something needed to be written.
It's been awhile and I've lacked motivation but then again i think most of us have lost motivation to read and write comments on eachother's blogs.

I was thinking of this quote today: "This is the world we live in. Conditions change and we mutate." It's from the book Invisible Monsters written by Chuck Palahniuk. It's quite simple and fits well into the story of the book, but really explains life in general. When conditions change in life we have to adapt or we mutate. We change along with them and it's kind of a constant thing. Clearly conditions have changed in my life and I have begun to mutate. I no longer go to school. I'm living at home. Looking for a job. Meeting new people. We have "let go" (as one friend put it) and so we mutate. We change and adapt to the new situations and conditions that life has brought us. I can't complain either with the changes in conditions. I have mutated quite well and i plan to proceed in the process. Hopefully i won't mutate into a virus or a turtle of the teenage variety

Besides those thoughts, maybe I should update on life in general. It's good. Still job searching for that 'great' job. Liking life. Looking for a new place to live and heading down to Iowa for part of the weekend to relive some good times. Which I also did last night. Nothing says good high school memories like the music you listened to back then. Oh what would I do with out Emo and making fun of my so-called Emo friends in high school? :-) Plus nothing better than a Smashing Pumpkins , Blink 182, Taking Back Sunday, New Found Glory or Good Charolette song to remind you of good friends, good times and a great way to dance around in your room and pretend that you're cool ;-)

new post...look below

so i have a post that i started awhile ago, but it posted as though it were that date. I don't know how to change that so if you care to read it, it's below it's called perfection and politics.

car observation

nowadays it seems you can tell a lot about a person just by looking at their car. You know with all the bumper stickers and decals and what not. I mean well... you can tell car lovers by the kind of car, and how well the car is taken care of. You can tell if someone has lots of money or not by how expensive and new the car is (etc). Lots of people have those silver emblems that depict whether they believe in god or not. Which brings met to the next thing. It's Sunday and so clearly many church goers were out at about this morning/afternoon as i was driving home from Target. So of course I found a car with a christian fish on it. And then I looked a little closer. Now many people also have personalized license plates and license plate borders (some other things that may help you understand a person just by looking at their car). Now, this is what i read on the license plate border of this car:

"Next time you think you're perfect, try walking on water"

ummmm... someone want to tell me what exactly that is supposed to mean?
yeah i'll leave it at that. i have to think about it a little more myself.

mmm blueberry muffin.

it's a cold day. wind is blowing and there have been snow flurries all day for the second day in a row. I am currently wondering, as I sit with my nice hot chai latte and having just finished THE most delicious bluberry muffin, how it is that Shannon will survive the winter here. It can take me awhile to get used to the cold every year. The weather has been ultra crazy with 80 degree weather a couple weeks ago and now it's been about 30-something (Fahrenheit mind you) for the past two days! eek! I however love breaking out all my hand knit scarves and hats that i have made or have been given to me. And I LOVE my vest :-) So warm and so old (it was dad's)

Today I had the day off from the deli, even though I almost got called in again, but if I worked more than 3 hours i'd be over in hours for the week and that won't be good. Plus... I just want to relax after picking up two extra hours in my shift last night (I closed!) and having plans with my mom this afternoon and with my sister and Natalie later tonight. Even though I had work off today I went in for a bit of orientation/training at my new job with Community Involvement Programs and working with their adult foster care houses. It was A LOT to take in but hopefully I'll figure it out. I don' t need to worry too much. The residents are all pretty well behaved and easy to get along with but I still am freaking out a bit. I'm going in next week though so that I can do a shift with someone and kind of shadow them. Whew! that will make things a little easier...hopefully. Seeing someone do the work will probably be easier to grasp than just having it all explained to me although I like having both. In other work news... Natalie finally got a call from Mayo and now she has to move down to Rochester and get ready to start work by the 30th! eek! I hope this doesn't ruin our halloween plans.

on anothernote. I decided to splurge a whole lot of money at the music store the other day. about $62 worth of merchandise. Four cds and a dvd. But I'm loving my purchases. I recommend them all: Ryan Adams, Tapes 'N Tapes, The Last Kiss soundtrack, and The Clash (London Calling). Oh plus the movie Swing kids. Fun things...they have kept me entertained the past couple of days.%2

mmm blueberry muffin.

it's a cold day. wind is blowing and there have been snow flurries all day for the second day in a row. I am currently wondering, as I sit with my nice hot chai latte and having just finished THE most delicious bluberry muffin, how it is that Shannon will survive the winter here. It can take me awhile to get used to the cold every year. The weather has been ultra crazy with 80 degree weather a couple weeks ago and now it's been about 30-something (Fahrenheit mind you) for the past two days! eek! I however love breaking out all my hand knit scarves and hats that i have made or have been given to me. And I LOVE my vest :-) So warm and so old (it was dad's)

Today I had the day off from the deli, even though I almost got called in again, but if I worked more than 3 hours i'd be over in hours for the week and that won't be good. Plus... I just want to relax after picking up two extra hours in my shift last night (I closed!) and having plans with my mom this afternoon and with my sister and Natalie later tonight. Even though I had work off today I went in for a bit of orientation/training at my new job with Community Involvement Programs and working with their adult foster care houses. It was A LOT to take in but hopefully I'll figure it out. I don' t need to worry too much. The residents are all pretty well behaved and easy to get along with but I still am freaking out a bit. I'm going in next week though so that I can do a shift with someone and kind of shadow them. Whew! that will make things a little easier...hopefully. Seeing someone do the work will probably be easier to grasp than just having it all explained to me although I like having both. In other work news... Natalie finally got a call from Mayo and now she has to move down to Rochester and get ready to start work by the 30th! eek! I hope this doesn't ruin our halloween plans.

on anothernote. I decided to splurge a whole lot of money at the music store the other day. about $62 worth of merchandise. Four cds and a dvd. But I'm loving my purchases. I recommend them all: Ryan Adams, Tapes 'N Tapes, The Last Kiss soundtrack, and The Clash (London Calling). Oh plus the movie Swing kids. Fun things...they have kept me entertained the past couple of days. SO has reading. Just finished The Princess Bride, then watched the movie again. I love that story so much.

i have another post I've been working on but i am scared to read it over and find that it makes no sense, but I promise some sort of meaningful post sooner or later. But now I'm going to go enjoy by chai then go shopping with mom.

perfection and politicians

so this post has been sitting around for awhile and i never got around to posting it so I finally decided to put it up since it had been awhile since my last post and with the upcoming elections here in the states. Hopefully it still makes sense...

let's face it. no one is perfect. i can't stand that word really. I don't think anything or anyone is ever perfect. These thoughts come about in my head ALL the time. Every once in awhile anyway.

Perfection in humans. I don't think it exists. We are SO completely flawed in many ways. There's always gotta be a little flaw in everyone. This thought has plagued me since my childhood. People may say that God or Jesus were perfect... Jesus was human. I believe he was flawed. Even though he was supposed to be an example, i guess, of perfection...well at least of doing the right thing, I still maintain that he must have had some sort of flaw...he was human after all. Anyway...humans aren't perfect. We fuck up ALL the time. Things happen to our bodies and minds that make us do what others may think are wrong. bad or stupid. And then of course they get shunned. yelled at etc etc...

Where am i going with this? Well i've begun to apply all this random thinking about perfection that I have to the elections this year. Yes elections... state stuff not presidential. Congress, and governors etc... I have an interest in politics. Have for awhile. It's why I spent so many years doing the Youth in Government program in high school learning about government and voting and all of that. Anyway that's a little different from the real stuff. (my mind is really choppy... i'm not sure most of this is making sense)but I've tried to make sure that I vote in the elections, to do my part and so on... But I usually find myself not wanting to because of political ad campaigns.

First of all they are mostly VERY cheesy and LAME. Needless to say.. BAD ACTING.
what I really can't stand about them though is when the candidates go after eachother and bring up as much dirt as they can about their opponent(s). Or how bad or stupid they try to make the other guy seem. So when i see these ads I begin thinking,... "yeah ok. she/he didn't do so well with that. They broke a promise, but is this guy who's running the ad against the other guy going to keep ALL (and i mean ALL) of his/their promises?!" DOUBT IT. But I get it. They're not perfect. No one is. It's sad when people break promises or do something disgusting/wrong whatever...It's sad/disgusting to hear about this senator or whatever he was/is that did bad things with kids (something about a page scandal, id on't remember I'll have to look it up. Hayes was maybe his name? I dunno) clearly he's not 'perfect'. he screwed up. It must be hard to be the people who know him, or thought they knew him pretty well. What they have to say to the media and so forth. Not that I'm defending this guy, he's got what looks like a serious problem in more ways than one... Anyway...shit where was I? Oh yeah.. I hate these political ads. that was kind of the main point I was trying to get at. I hate them. i wish Politicians would think about what the hell they are doing. I'm beginning to wonder if they are trying to get people NOT to vote, rather than to actually vote. They need to step back for a while and look at what crap they are putting in their ads about their opponents shortcomings and reflect on if they think they will do everything they have said they would do and will do it well. Overall they need to step back and think about how they're making fun of their opponent for not being perfect in many ways and think about whether or not they are perfect. Which in truth they are not. No one is. This all brings me back to my previous post about the license plate saying...The one about Jesus being perfect and walking on water. I don't think walking on water makes you perfect, but damn is it one hell of a talent! Anyway if this has made any sense at all my point is that no one is perfect. I can't really believe that anyone is. I'm a believer in imperfection i guess. That people are flawed, that there really isn't a 'normal' and that most people and are abnormal. Things happen for whatever reason, people do stupid things but taking the time to understand and think about it is something completely different.

life lately, books, baseball and the color pink

life lately. hmmmm let's see.
work has been good and with the possibility of another job things are looking up.
I finally found some Cat Empire tickets for cheap. Why they were so expensive on one site and not another I have no idea. Things are looking up. As long as I don't have to work that night.

I'm reliving my childhood a little bit by reading The Princess Bride by William Goldman. It's so much better the second or third time around when I'm actually paying attention to it unlike when I was younger. Truly one of my most favorite books/movies/stories.

I've realized that I have quite a hate for The Yankees and for pink. The Yankees are just... meh. I'm not a fan. They ruin baseball. The Twins. Oh i love them. Too bad they have lost their first two games in the playoffs. I'm now too nervous to watch the games! or even listen. I am sad. I wish they were doing better. they are soo good and so fun!

Oh and the Pink thing. Ummm. I am not a fan in the first place I am really not a fan when it comes to pink hats for baseball. I can't stand those girls at Twins games that wear pink Twins apparel. :-P Bleh. The twins colors are blue, red and white! I have a thing against girly girls at baseball in the first place. Those girls who are decked out at a ballpark is just beyond me

Back to work... it's getting better and better. I love that I know my co-workers better and that we have things to talk about. I still feel like i'm an awkward person though. But I find myself checking the schedule all the time to see who will be working so I know whether I'll have someone to talk to or not.

I'm really looking forward to Halloween this year. I get to play frisbee again with a team at the Halloween tourney in Winona, MN. YAY! and Rob is having a party the night before I go down to the frisbee tourney. I'm excited to see what we dress as for the tournament. I already know what I will be for the party at Rob's. Last saturday we got to talking about costumes. A few of us have gotten on a Kevin Smith kick. Rob and Derek will be Jay and Silent Bob. So Nat and I decided to go for characters from Dogma. The Buddy Christ (me) and God a la Alanis Morisette (nat). This should be fun :-)

Can't think of much else. Will see what I get up to during the next two days that I have off. I plan for a lot of relaxing. :-)

ALS

so i thought this was really cool...
My buddy Will whom I met while in Adelaide, who is also a fellow frisbee player, luther alumni and Twin Cities resident, set up this site for ALS (Lou Gehrigs Disease) His dad has the disease. This weekend there is a walk to raise money for ALS. I have the link to Will's site. ALthough most of you who read this are from out of town...like oh you know Australia, and it might not work for you to make a donation I recommend you check out the site and the links on the page. It's pretty interesting.
http://web.alsa.org/site/TR?px=1274089&pg=personal&fr_id=1600&s_tafId=3001

HOpefully that link works. But yeah...check it out if you feel. Thanks for your time.

pet peeves of the road.

* correction from last time... it might be about 4-5 of my friends who have been shat on by guys lately. (Trace, we need to get together sometime soon. I hope you are well. Oh and you should visit me at work sometime...;-) )

well enough of the angry boy talk...

how about angry driving talk? ha.
lately i have not really enjoyed driving, although I do find it pleasurable at times, but mostly only when there are not other people around and I can just cruise down the open road for awhile and take it all in. :-) One of my happier driving experiences was when Leah and I left Luther after NordicFest and just cruised on out of Decorah with the warm summer air and bright summer sun flowing in through the windows as we stuck our hands out into the open air and listened to the vocal stylings of Jack Johnson...

Driving int he city is a whole different story. I have gotten better at it and I find myself more aggressive which pleases me, that I have learned to drive better in the city and the suburbs but I still can't stand more than half of the other people on the road. It's been raining lately and people tend to forget how to drive when that starts up. I can't stand people going under the speed limit. That is quite annoying. It's right under my biggest pet peeve while driving. People who don't use their signals! why do you think they put the damn things in your car?! Along with people going under the speed limit ... I can't stand those who go above the speed limit and find it their right to ride my ass as I am going the speed limit or even above! jerks. argh... I don't even know how to really explain my frustration in words, but if you've ever ridden in a car with me driving you'd probably understand.

If you think about it...driving is quite dangerous. Really. It's a bunch of humans, who are not perfect beings, who error all the time, operating a big (however many tons) metal vehicle. I think most people take it for granted every day. But I reckon I should start thinking about it more and being thankful that I am not dead from driving around a bunch of idiots. Of course I make my mistakes too. Like today when I probably could have gotten hit by another car while I pulled out in front of it. My claim though... the jack ass was driving a grayish car on a very gray and rainy day without his headlights on...it's kind of hard to see that kind of thing. Anyway... Not that it needs to be thought about constantly but it is something to think about the next time you get in a car and start driving. I do not trust people on the road. I liek people. I took four years of psychology to get a degree becuase I find people interesting but I like them the least, it seems, while they are on the road. I'm always wondering what is going through their minds while I yell at them from behind my steering wheel. At least I don't creat road rage. ..

not common sense

i haven't had much to say lately, nothing interesting enough to get a comment...but i will say this...well these few things that have popped into my head:

I am so ready to kick a guy in the balls. I hope no nice ones get caught in my war path but I am about ready to do it. a few of my closest friends have been shit on by boys over the last few months. yes boys. I will call them that.They are not men in my mind. I don't know. A lot of shit goes down in many relationships, and I can see how one forgives someone. but damnit... i'm just kind of pissed with what has been going on lately. One of those boys I knew fairly well. And next time I see him I don't know if I should kick him in the balls, punch him in the face or give him a hug. Augh!

and another thing totally unrelated...

i can't stand the bad rep that psychology, psychologists, therapists, psychiatrists etc. get from mostly the media. Damn you tv and movies! Psychologists and psychiatrists in this form seem to be portrated very much in the manner of being a bad guy or insane. Theydo not get credit in the movies or in real life for helping people or 'saving lives'. It's not a 'real' science to most people. It's not 'real' help, or medicine to some people. AUGH! and may i say that it's common sense! If someone who has never ever studied psychology can tell me the treatments for manic depression or how many types of schizophrenia there are and what their differences are, or the different treatments or theories of different mental illnesses, or at least ONE psychologist (other than Freud) and what their contribution to psychology was ... then it's common sense. I'm so sick of people looking at me funnywhen I tell them that I have a psych degree. Ah.. screw them. I want to help people in one of the most difficult ways possible! The mind is a terribly hard thing to explain and deal with and everyone has GOT to know that! so bullshit it's common sense! (heh...and that whole 'common sense' thing came from my friend at work who is studying art. psh.. I wouldn't even call art 'common sense'..i'm not that mean) so yeah. Too bad it's not all common sense and not everything can be cured by exercise and vitamins (tom fucking cruise - thank goodness he finally apologized to Brooke Shields. Maybe he does have a good bone in his body). The mind is a very difficult thing to understand and it's Not common sense!

a hairnet.

well lets see what's been going on...oh plenty but I'm sure I'll forget half of it.

Saw the girls on Saturday and it was fantastic! I spent most of the afternoon with Kayla shopping in which I ended up buying my first real purchase of make-up and then I had some amazing tea and then found Tim Tams (which were NOT labeled as Tim Tams..just as Arnott's chocolate biscuits) and some Twirl and Flake. YUm! I am in heaven now...Now that I can get Tim Tams and Cooper's in Minneapolis! YAY! It's great. Dinner and going out with Kayla, Maris and Kris was great but I got really freaked out while driving. I had had a few drinks before going to pick up Kris from the airport. So I was a little nervous when I had loud noises in the car and then there was a detour to and from the airport. Once in uptown , after taking probably THE longest way to get there we went to WIlliams and had a good time. Tried a couple of other pubs but weren't really feeling it. Came home and had a bit of ham salad then hit the sack. According to Krista I snore :-( For some reason I got offended by this. :-P We went to breakfast the next morning with Krista's mom Luann and sister Lindsey. It was great. So nice to see them again!

Sunday I had to work so it was probably good that I didn't drink heaps on saturday night. The day went by pretty fast. Work was SO busy! :-P bleh! And that's about all that happened that day. It was also Natalie's birthday and we had planned to go to the Gay 90s but Nat was not feeling well. So we plan for the pub sometime this week to celebrate :-) I ended up just getting into my warm bed and watching a movie instead of all the 9/11 tv specials that were on. I just didn't think I could deal with all of that. So yeah, I watched Out Cold instead. I think I am just hoping for autumn and winter soon :-)I've enjoyed the cooler weather lately, but it is supposed to get warm again soon.

So back to the 9/11 stuff. Well that was Sunday for those of you who may have lost track of the days, and well I can't say that I have much to say on the topic. I didn't watch many things about it or talk about it all that much. I remember that day it happened and watching so much tv that night after school about what was going on in NY and it was SO devistating. It was too much to watch at once.

Another thing about work.. Met a new person...Sharon. She's great. I like her. We got to talking and she was so supportive when we talked about me getting a full time job that relates to my degree. Overall..she was nice. I liked her and look forward to working with her again.

Today I finally found a freaking hairnet so I wouldn't have to wear the hat anymore at work which makes my forehead itch. I got it just before work and put it on in the car. I got to work and was working away only to have my manager tell me it looked like i had lost it. He asked first if I had a hat, which of course I answered with 'yes. but i just got a hairnet today' Then he proceeds to tell me that he thinks I've lost it. I think he was kind of nervous about this. So I finish up with a customer or two and run around the corner to the bathroom to check. I still had the hairnet. THe thing is that the hairnet was made to be pretty much invisible. hopefully this is ok with my boss...I'll have to show him it to reassure him that I did not lose it.

um...besides all of that not much else going on. I haven't seen my parents much lately because of work. the gas prices are going down. I got paid last friday..YAY! but spent a lot of it already on random things. and that's about all i've got for now. i think. i don't know. i'm rambling...as usual.

'chz'

yesterday i had a day off.
I didn't know what to do with myself. I sat around most of the day with mom and just hung out.I enjoy watching The View when I can. I must say that the addition of Rosie O'Donnell to the View is pretty good. I like her. She kind of talks a lot but she's funny.

Work today was pretty good. Had an 11-7 shift which went reasonably fast. I met a new kid today who was pretty cool. Not gonna lie, to me, he was kind of weird, but i think i know who he'll get a long with. Anyway... it's interesting to watch someone new come in since I was new about two weeks ago. I like the feeling of knowing where everything is and knowing how to slice meats and stuff. I remember one of the girls that i usually work with telling me how she got sick of doing salads and enjoys doing Hot Foods more. I have to say that I think I'm getting there already. I'm kind of sick of salads, and i feel cool that i can do meats and cheese pretty well now. Still a few things I don't know but it's getting much easier ...but hot foods are getting more interesting. I think next week I'm schedule one day to do cheese. I am not sure if that means that I am to work across they way at the cheese place or what. at least I think that 'chz' means i am working with the cheese people. who knows.

Today, again, was pretty good and pretty interesting. Like the lady who wanted 16 pounds of roast beef! what?! Poor Jake had to SLICE 16lbs for this lady and then that wasn't enough, she actually asked for three pounds more of roast beef, totaling the amount to 19 pounds! hahaha. Jake made it through, he said he had worse before, but yeah... slicing 19 lbs of roast beef! :-P crazy! I also scared the shit out of Jake later while he was cleaning a slicer. It was time for me to go and I had just finished with my last customer who needed a lot of stuff, and so I go to tell Jake to help the next people who want sliced meat and cheese and just as I say "Jake" he gets startled and jumps. :-) I didn't realize you could get so intense about cleaning a slicer. lol. He said that he was just very relaxed, kind of in his own world so when i tried talking to him it startled him.

so yeah. that's all really. I am hanging with Davina at the coffee shop. Yay. So happy to have coffee and a friend! :-) I love these nights and days where I hang with D. She's great. I miss her. I'm really looking forward to tomorrow and hanging out with Kayla, Kris and Maris. It should be great! First I have to pick up my paycheck cuz stupid head here forgot to! :-P Yeah I'm a genius. Ok that's all i have to ramble about today.

my yarn bag is full and happy...

...and so am I. Well happy anyway.
Mom bought me three new bundles of yarn and I am happy. I now have enough to make actual things. i already started a scarf for mom and a hat for Shannon (he'll need it. it gets cold around here)

other exciting news. work is going well.
Krista will be here for a very short time on Saturday night!
I get to hang out with kayla pretty much all day on Saturday! (and all night)
I get to go for coffee with Davina on Friday night!
I think i get paid tomorrow!
Natalie's birthday is on the 10th and we're planning on going to the Gay90s
for her birthday!
Got a random phone call from Tracy today! We haven't talked in ages! Hope you feel better soon though Trace!
And i really think that's all I've got for now. I can't think of much else to talk about.
Some things good. Some things weird.

overall... good.
I have yarn now. I get to make things! :-) YAY.

milk or beer?

my dad posed a very real and very serious question/scenario last night at the dinner table.

now I'm sure I know what you all may be thinking... that the question would be about what am I going to do with my life or something... but let's be serious... my dad isn't that serious. He's happy I have a job and he supports me in my search for a job that will pay me crap because I want to help people and which will barely help me pay off my college loans. :-)

knowing my love for both milk and beer, the question/scenario my dad posed last night was this:

if you had milk and beer sitting on the table and both were about to fall off the table, which would you save?!

oh goodness I thought. Well i had to think about it... i came up with this: I would save the beer because it was in a glass bottle, while the milk is in a plastic carton. Thus there would be less mess and then both would be safe and in good condition. I thought I had it.

Well then Dad proceeds to bring up what if you had a glass of beer and a glass of milk...then which would you save?! OMG I didn't know what to say... I love both Milk and Beer. I mean... I've been drinking Milk longer, so was I to go with my long time friend that keeps me healthly and builds strong bones...or do I go with my new found friend of only a few years that has such a distinct taste and if larger amounts are drunk i feel as though I can do anything?
Let's be a little serious here...we could have gotten into it even deeper. If it were Skim Milk and a Cooper's Pale Ale I would be at complete odds...well almost. I don't know if I ever decided while at the dinner table. So I brought it up to my friends last night as we were out at this new pub in Downtown Minneapolis...

The ever-so-wise Rob made a good point. "You'd save the beer. Milk costs less..." He might have said something else but I was probably into my fourth Captain and Coke and the money point that he made was probably the one that hit my ears with a ding because I have no money (very little in fact that I don't think I even paid for any of my drinks last night. Yay for new bars that give away heaps of free drink passes! score!)
So yeah... save the beer... it costs more! Especially the Coopers. I mean damn.. I finally found it in Minneapolis and I am not letting that go. Plus I work in a freaking supermarket, where I get a discount so I could buy 'mucho leche' for a very good price. Good beer is not cheap. Now see if it was shitty beer like bud light or some shit like that I'd let the beer go and save the milk. That's quite simple...and that's a whole 'nother story ... if the beer cost less than milk I'd definitel save the milk. :-)

Yep. That's what I've been thinking about. I'm going to now go enjoy my saturday which has started well. No hangover from a beer, five captain and cokes, plus a shot. I got up at a decent enough time to watch Phil of the Future and The Batman. And now will relax with Animaniacs and then get my hair cut since I haven't cut it in ages. w00t! yeah for having saturday off from work! :-)